Marauders and Muggles?
by FoxOtaku
Summary: When the Marauders pull a prank too rebellious for the halls of Hogwarts, they are sent to a muggle school where they meet terrifying teachers, sinister school work and four very unusual girls. SBXOC, RLXOC, JPXLE, PPXCheese
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: We do not own Harry Potter or any of the characters in the Harry Potter book series. We write fanfiction to fulfil our fan-girling and because it's fun ^^**

Chapter 1: The Worst Punishment

**A/N: This is a collaboration fanfiction. In other words, three of us are writing this. This chapter was written by Arthusa48, check out her profile! **

'Come on, Moony!' said James.

'No, Prongs, it'll be the third prank this week! Don't you think that's a bit much? Plus we already have a month's worth of detentions and I don't want anymore!'

After Remus' mini-lecture was over, it was Sirius' turn to persuade him. 'Moony, you can _never_ play too many pranks. And anyway, you're outnumbered.'

'You haven't counted Peter yet,' he accused.

'Oi, Wormtail, stop dreaming about cheese and tell us whether or not you'll go along with the prank,' he yawned, waving a lazy hand in front of Peter's face.

'Ooh, are we planning another one?' he asked excitedly.

'I'll take that as a yes,' Remus sighed, 'but _please _say it's not too dangerous?'

'You are so easily persuaded,' James grinned at his friend who growled quietly back as they started to make their plans.

'I bought some Muggle hair-dye in the holidays, I was _planning _to use it on Snivellous, but we have a better idea! Dumbledore! In two days, he'll walk into the Great Hall with bright pink hair!' Sirius enthused.

'No _way_, Padfoot. We are _not_ playing a prank on the Head Master of all people,' Remus said, shaking his head.

'Look, Moony. This will prove we are the most daring pranksters _ever!_ No one else would dare play a prank of the Head Master! But you know the way Dumbledore is, he probably won't care,' James explained.

Remus just sighed to show his acceptance.

'Tomorrow night, you two distract Dumbledore whilst Prongs and I sneak the dye into his shampoo. Nothing can go wrong.'

* * *

'Well, how did it go?' Remus enquired.

'You will find out tomorrow and not moment before then, even if you beg,' Sirius replied casually. The other two Marauders sighed in frustration.

* * *

The four boys woke uncharacteristically early the next day and were eagerly discussing the prank over breakfast when Dumbledore appeared. His usually silver hair had flushed a vivid pink to the surprise of everyone except the Marauders who had burst out laughing at the sight of him. Others in the Great Hall had very different reactions, some, like the Marauders, laughed, others stared in shock, but those who had recently eaten were most likely choking on their food.

As Dumbledore stood up, the noise level dropped into an awkward silence.

'Now, I would like to thank the people who turned my hair pink, as I do love this shade of salmon, however, I do believe that others would not deem it suitable for a Head Master of Hogwarts. In that case, I will ask Professor McGonagall to send the students responsible to my office,' as Dumbledore finished his speech, noise broke out again.

* * *

_Addressed to James Potter, Sirius Black, Remus Lupin and Peter Pettigrew_

_Please leave your spell books and equipment. You may keep your wands. Go immediately to the Head Master's office to collect your punishment._

_Minerva McGonagall_

'Minnie caught us!' James blurted out, surprised.

'Well it was quite obvious it was us,' Remus reasoned. Sirius just remained glaring at the letter coldly.

* * *

'Now then. I believe it is you four who are responsible for this morning,' Dumbledore spoke as though slightly amused, constantly stroking his pink beard. 'As for your punishments, so far, they are not making much of a difference, so I have a much more severe one in mind. You must visit a Muggle school for a certain amount of time, which has yet to be decided, but remember, you must _not reveal you're magic.'_

**A/N: Sorry it's short, this is a first chapter to see if you like it. If you enjoyed it, review and the chapters will be at least 900 words long and be updated much more frequently. Thank you :3 The next chapter will be written by me and then TheRabbitOtaku and back to Arthusa48. Thanks for reading, hope you enjoyed!**


	2. Chapter 2

**Disclaimer: We do not own Harry Potter or any of the characters in the Harry Potter book series. We write fanfiction to fulfil our fan-girling and because it's fun ^.^**

Chapter 2: I think I prefer Hogwarts

**A/N: This chapter was written by me C: Please enjoy! **

Sirius Black kicked a stone from under his feet grumpily. This was his first day at Willenhall Academy. Unusually, all four Marauders were silent as they approached their first class designated by a teacher they hadn't bothered to learn the name of. Silently, and though they would never admit it, nervously, they opened the door. Immediately, all attention was drawn to the four fidgeting students.

'Are you the new boys?' the teacher asked. His voice was a low, bored monotone. He had short, dirty blond hair and deep shadows under his eyes.

'Yes,' James muttered, unhappy with the use of the word "boys".

The teacher nodded. 'I'm Mr Parley.'

'I'm Sirius, this is James, Remus and Peter.'

'Cheese,' Peter nodded.

Mr Parley chuckled. 'You'd best serious if you want to ace my classes,' he laughed at his own joke.

The Marauders waited awkwardly as his guffaws died down.

'Well then, Sirius, can you sit over there, James if we could have you over here… Remus, right there and Peter just here.'

As the boys shuffled to their seats, Mr Parley faced the whiteboard. 'So if 5x=25, what is the value of c?'

The class settled into confusion once again.

A sharp poke made Sirius jump as he turned to see himself next to a girl. She was very short, he realised, she could pass for a first year. Her long, brown, curly hair was pulled into high pigtails and her sharp eyes pierced his as she smiled. 'Welcome, I'm Phoebe, and if you don't get anything, don't ask me, I fail at Maths,' and with that, she and the auburn girl near her threw their pens down in disgust.

Another girl laughed. She had slightly darker, straight hair a little past her shoulders that was pulled into a ponytail. This girl was sat next to Remus. He looked up at her and they shared a long glance before simultaneously, they dropped their heads and continued working, a bit pink.

Near James, another brunette with slightly longer hair giggled and scribbled over the words in her book. 'Phoebe, stop it!' she laughed, colouring over another verse of _I love Mr Parley_. James regarded this with curiosity before leaning over her to scribble _What in Merlin is this lesson teaching us?!_ The brunette watched him impassively before shrugging. 'I'm Megan. Touch me again and I'll get her to slap you,' she gestured to Phoebe, 'or Chloe,' she reasoned, pointing at the auburn-haired girl, 'but not Cerys,' she shook her head, pointing at the girl next to Remus. James frowned and turned away.

'Hi,' Chloe dead-panned in her attempt to make small talk.

'Cheese,' Peter agreed.

'What?'

'Nothing.'

'O…kay?'

'Your friends aren't very friendly,' Sirius remarked.

Phoebe shrugged. 'I choose my friends wisely. They're good for me.'

A bell rang nearby and Mr Parley stopped muttering. 'It seems our lesson is over. Off you go,' he monotoned.

'Oh, God,' Chloe muttered.

'What's up?'

'Have you forgotten? Phoebe and I have Mrs Iron next.'

Everyone groaned. Megan led James to her next lesson, Cerys and Remus to hers and Chloe, Peter, Phoebe and Sirius dragged their feet to the science block.

'Chloe!' Phoebe yelled happily, running to hug her friend.

'Aren't you called Chloe?' Sirius asked the auburn-haired girl.

'Yeah. There are lots of Chloes in this school.'

'Blimey,' Sirius blinked, 'I wish I got this kind of welcome,' he said, gesturing to Phoebe, Chloe, a tall boy and two boys slightly taller than Phoebe chatting in a large group. Ironically, Phoebe and Chloe were the only ones that hugged… repeatedly.

'Are they…?' Sirius muttered.

'Hm? No, if you mean what I think you mean, Chloe has a boyfriend and Phoebe has a massive crush on Johnny Depp and Ian Hecox, but who can blame her?'

'Who's Joh–?'

'ONE LINE!'

'One hope!' Phoebe echoed.

'One dream!' the tall boy called and they both giggled.

As they filed into the classroom, Mrs Iron gave everyone an individual "good morning".

'We're doing group work today–' and before she could say anything else, everyone had moved next to their friends.

'Hiiiiii!' Phoebe grinned, sitting next to Chloe, Conor and Ryan, who, Sirius realised, were the shorter boys outside.

'Who's your shadow?' Ryan asked, pointing at the new boy.

'This is Sirius. He's neeeeew.'

'Who's the emo?' he remarked back, pointing at Ryan.

'This is a friend of mine,' Phoebe laughed slightly, 'also known as my older brother, though he's not. But now you're my friend too! Group hug?'

As they all got sandwiched together in an embrace, Sirius' mind wandered.

_How long will I have to stay here…?_

_I'm not an emo, _Ryan thought to himself as he fluffed up his fringe, _I'm a Goth. I like black._

Phoebe wiggled her eyebrows at someone across the classroom as a tall boy walked past. The girl flushed and pouted before giggling and blowing a kiss at Phoebe.

'Awww, I can't believe Sam and Anjulie have so much UST still.'

'US _what?_' Sirius and Ryan asked at the same time before glaring at each other.

'Unresolved sexual tension,' Phoebe explained, catching Sirius' eye and grinning.

**A/N: Little bit of a cliffy there :P So yeah, I'm Phoebe, so this chapter follows Sirius and me a lot more than anyone else because I wrote it so I have to do a kind of POV thing. Megan's got the next chapter and it's FABULOUS. It's so funny! Until then :P **


	3. Chapter 3

**Disclaimer: We do not own Harry Potter or any of the characters in the Harry Potter book series. We write fanfiction to fulfil our fan-girling and because it's fun ^.^ We also do not own Club Penguin (the official) or Club Penguin (run by Mr Kwashiorkor).**

Chapter 3: Club Penguin

**A/N: This chapter was written by the amazing RabbitOtaku. I can't believe how scary this one turned out but hilarious too! Dedicated to Anjulie, because her awesomeness made me update this chapter sooner 3**

'Heads down. It's Mr Kwashiorkor.'

Sirius kept his head defiantly up as the teacher passed, chewing an apple with exaggerated pleasure. His head soon dropped when the teacher winked at him suggestively and left. Phoebe gave him a sharp slap on the cheek.

'Why didn't you do what I said?!'

'I-'

'Are you stupid? Someone as good looking as you is going to catch his attention!'

Sirius smirked. Another slap.

'He's the head of Club Penguin, stupid!'

'Club _what_?'

'Penguin,' she hissed, 'keep your voice down!' Before continuing, she let her eyes skim down the corridor to make sure they were alone. 'They're this secret society led by Mr Kwashiorkor for…' her voice drifted away and she bit her lip in thought, 'let's just say, boys with imaginative minds.' Phoebe began to walk away but Sirius grabbed her arm and pulled her back towards him. He looked her deep in the eyes and pulled his best smoulder.

'You know… back there you said I was good looking.'

Phoebe's expression softened.

_Way to go, Sirius, _he thought, _you've got this one in the bag._

Sirius closed his eyes, but instead of pleasure, he got the sharp sting of a slap. He looked back at her and her expression was harsh, her arm raised and her other hand jabbing him in the chest,

'Keep pulling stunts like that and you'll be in Club Penguin for sure,' and with that, she walked away swiftly, with Sirius calling behind her.

'Come on, Phoebe, even you can't deny that I'm hot!' Sirius shook his head. _Girls_, he thought. He followed after her; perhaps this school would be fun.

* * *

Mr Kwashiorkor emerged from the shadows that had hid him and he let a low chuckle escape his throat. He had watched the exchange between Miss Rowell and the new boy.

'Sirius,' he said aloud. He loved how the name simply rolled off his tongue.

_She was wise to warn him about Club Penguin_, he grinned to himself, _he would certainly be a nice addition. _

He tossed his now eaten apple over his shoulders and he licked his fingers, savouring the taste. His long, slender fingers then reached into his pocket and hooked out a set of keys. He scanned through them 'til he came to the one he was looking for. His hand brushed the wall behind him until he found a small rectangle. He inserted the key into it and waited. The wall slowly opened to reveal a set of stairs which stopped in front of a large, red door. Mr Kwashiorkor began to descend the stairs and with each step he took, the sound of laughter and music grew louder.

_My, my, aren't the boys having fun? _

He reached the doors and pushed them open to reveal the Club Penguin meeting room. A large table spread across the room, all the chairs around it were of equal proportions apart from one that resembled a throne at the end of the table. "His boys" were dancing around the jukebox in the corner of the room, those who weren't sat on top of the table chatting. Upon Mr Kwashiorkor's arrival, one boy walked over and pilled him into a tight embrace.

'Good to see you, Emperor Penguin,' he muttered into his ear.

'Good to see you too, Ethan.'

When he was free from the boy's embrace, Mr Kwashiorkor skipped over to the jukebox.

'You know what song, boys!' he said with a sly wink. He jumped onto the meeting table and pulled Ethan up with him. Mr Kwashiorkor flung his arms loosely around Ethan's shoulders as the music began to play and he began to sing.

_I'm always on the prowl_

_Gonna hunt the boys down_

_When girls see me they weep_

_When boys see me, they creep around_

He started to whirl Ethan around the table.

_And if you're in my good books_

_I'll take you to Funky Town_

Ethan raised his eyes and smiled suggestively at this as Mr Kwashiorkor dipped him down.

_So if you're not in my Club_

_Your ugly mug must have made me frown_

The song ended and cheers erupted from the boys. Mr Kwashiorkor and Ethan swooped down into a low bow.

'Thank you my dears. Now everyone have a seat, I have some good news,' Mr Kwashiorkor hopped off the table and into his throne. A chorus of disappointed _aww_s rippled through the group. Mr Kwashiorkor tutted. 'Now boys, you must all know our motto by now,' he raised his hands towards the banner above their heads.

**"WORK HARD, PLAY HARDER"**

All the boys sat at their assigned seats, all their faces took on a serious expression.

'Most of you already know, but for those of you who don't…' he lowered his hands and smiled, 'I will enlighten you.' He clicked his fingers and the main lights went out, leaving only a few candles (which were scattered from a minimalist's perspective) to illuminate his face.

'There is a new student who might be what we are looking for in Club Penguin,' he leaned forwards on the table and knitted his fingers together, a playful emotion swept across his face. 'And I know exactly how to get him.'

**A/N: Another major cliffy! Actually, this isn't my chapter so you can't blame me. Will Sirius be sucked into the vortex that is Club Penguin?! Dun dun dun! Also, I'm sorry for the awful update time, from the people that might read my Kamisama Hajimemashita fanfiction, I am so lazy with updates! I'm sorry! So please review! Did you like Club Penguin? Would you like to see more Marauder-style? **


	4. Chapter 4

**Disclaimer: We do not own Harry Potter or any of the characters in the Harry Potter book series. We also don't own Club Penguin or any other characters such as Johnny Depp (3) We write fanfiction to fulfil our fan-girling and because it's fun ^.^**

Chapter 4: Floods of Custard and Explosions of Flour

**A/N: This chapter was written by Cerys again. Please enjoy! **

'Do I really have to have him following me around everywhere? All he says is "Cheese"!' Chloe remarked in annoyance. 'Plus I have DT next, where I have to deal with enough idiots as it is. Can we swap _please?_'

'No way!' Phoebe, Megan and Cerys simultaneously insisted. 'Touch wood!' they said again, while touching the corresponding Marauders' heads.

'Cerys was last,' Phoebe reasoned. Cerys frowned and passed the Marauders a note.

_Say my name three times._

It was unfortunate that Sirius reacted first, because having you name screamed across a hall full of students is quite embarrassing, but at least she was free to speak now.

Mr Kwashiorkor spotted Sirius (who couldn't of?) and motioned for him to follow him. Phoebe quickly rushed forward to say "Erm… Sir, I have to take Sirius to my next lesson or he'll get lost,' and then led him away from a disappointed Mr Kwashiorkor.

'You owe us,' Chloe said when they were approaching their next lesson.

'Why all of you?' Sirius asked stubbornly.

'It's just the way it works,' she shrugged.

After bidding their friends goodbye, Sirius, Remus, Phoebe and Cerys entered a classroom where the whole class had left to go work in an Art room.

'So we're in a classroom with half a class missing and no teacher? Brilliant!'

'Don't you dare cause trouble!' Phoebe warned.

Both Marauders frowned.

'Look, this is the Jinxed Lesson. If we're cooking, and we are, then if we laugh, everything goes wrong,' Cerys explained.

'Really?' Remus asked doubtfully.

'Yeah, last time there was an explosion of flour and a flood of custard,' Phoebe said with an angry blush.

'Padfoot, Moony,' I'm coming in here with you. Do you know what I have to do in there? Sew. With little pins that could probably kill you.'

'Bit of an exaggeration there, Prongs.'

'He's hot!'

The Marauders turned to see two girls whispering together. One had dark blonde hair. She was the one laughing. 'I'm Skye, and don't think there's no teachers around – look.'

'Oh, it's Mr Reg! Look, his arse is sooooo sexy!' the dark haired, dark skinned one who'd complimented Sirius squealed.

'How can an arse be sexy?' Sirius asked James, wrinkling his nose.

'Well you're an arse but people still think you're sexy,' James replied.

'I'm Anjulie by the way,' squealed the girl shorter than Skye but with long, dark hair.

Phoebe ran up to hug her before grinning and returning to her meringue. Skye and Anjulie pulled out seats next to her and dabbed their fingers in the unfinished meringue.

Cerys and Remus hovered awkwardly as Sirius thrusted his whole fist in and licked it delightedly.

'Feel free,' Phoebe shrugged, nudging everyone out of the way and offering the other two the bowl while licking the whisk casually.

Once all six were sticky faced and there was just enough meringue to coat the pie, Phoebe set the timer and emerged from the oven with red cheeks.

'Do you want to play Straight Faces?'

'What in Merlin is that?' Sirius yawned.

'It's cool, Danny taught it me.' As Skye and Anjulie exchanged meaningful glances, Phoebe explained the objective of the game. Remus paired with Cerys, Skye with Anjulie and Sirius with Phoebe while James watched dejectedly.

Within the first second, Anjulie giggled and Skye rolled her eyes. Cerys and Remus blushed at each other and looked away simultaneously. Cerys let out a nervous laugh. Both Phoebe and Sirius held neutral expressions for almost five minutes before Phoebe burst out in hysterical laughter.

'Aw jeez, the look on your face!'

Curiously, everyone glanced at Sirius. His stormy grey eyes were widened and he had his tongue lolling out of the corner of his mouth.

This definitely wasn't the face of Hogwarts' notorious heartbreaker.

James chuckled but his heart began to ache.

_What was Lily doing right now? Did she wonder where he'd gone? Did she miss him like he missed her? _As though reading his mind, Sirius gave him a supportive slap on the back. James returned his sympathetic smile with a sad shrug as he glanced around at the practically empty Food Tech. room.

Phoebe and Cerys caught the mood instantly and exchanged pitying looks. After glomping James in unison so fiercely that his glasses slipped off the end of his nose, he grinned.

'One at a time!' he chuckled, only half-jokingly.

Skye looked up from scribbling on Anjulie's hands. 'Why did you move to this school anyway? It's no secret that it's rubbish.'

James shot Sirius a _Help me! _look but he just stared hopelessly back. Remus came to the rescue with a causal "Oh, y'know".

But they didn't know.

And they weren't about to let it drop.

**A/N: Why do I keep ending them with miniature cliff hangers? I'm generally the editor/extender of these chapters so if you want to correct my grammar, send me a review or PM :S Lots of mistakes are on purpose and yes, I do know that "glomp" isn't a word. I'm writing the next chapter so thanks for reading and I hope you enjoyed! **


	5. Chapter 5

**Disclaimer: We do not own Harry Potter or any of the characters in the Harry Potter book series. We also don't own Club Penguin or any other characters such as Johnny Depp or Ian Hecox. We write fanfiction to fulfil our fan-girling and because it's fun ^.^**

Chapter 4: Spin the bottle's so cliché

**A/N: This chapter was written me ^.^ As shameless advertising for my Kamisama Hajimemashita fanfiction, please give that a read! Enjoy! **

'I'm soooo bored!' Phoebe muttered, yawning.

Sirius threw a Lucozade bottle at James' head. As he made to launch it back, Ryan intercepted it.

'Let's play Spin the Bottle!' he grinned, flicking his hair and glancing at Chloe.

'Fine by me,' Peter mumbled, gnawing on a slice of cheese.

The six of them settled into a messy circle. Before they had time to play the bottle down, a few more people squeezed in.

'It looks fun!' Anjulie said indignantly as Phoebe cocked an eyebrow at her.

With a nifty spin, the bottle halted at a hesitant looking Jamie. His tanned face wore a confused expression and he furrowed his brows and flicked his hair.

David, an ever-grinning Asian boy with a thing for touching books chortled, 'who's the lucky lady?' and knocked the bottle until it landed on Ryan.

Jamie and Ryan swished their hair indignantly: Ryan's mane of dark hair flicked to the side and Jamie's carefully fluffed caramel-coloured fringe bounced. Phoebe snapped photos as they joined their lips for the worst ten seconds of their lives. Sirius laughed maliciously: Ryan was that emo boy he didn't like after all, and Jamie was too much of a pretty boy for his taste – competition, you might say.

James lazily flicked the bottle again until it pointed at Cerys. She blushed peony as the plastic rotated to face Remus.

'Well this is a great bonding exercise,' Phoebe mumbled awkwardly.

Sirius sent Remus a hard-eyed nod and with a worried expression, the scrawny boy leaned in and locked lips with the girl.

It appeared to be a tense moment. James, Peter and Sirius knew of Remus' pathetic, half-hearted attempts to pick up girls at Hogwarts.

For Cerys, it was magic.

Fireworks exploded behind her eyelids as his lips brushed against hers. He smelt... like chocolate. That musky, sweet scent that made your mouth water, and his mouth tasted like honey, so ambrosial that it saddened her to allow them to part.

'Awkward...' Anjulie and Skye muttered simultaneously.

Cerys wobbled to her feet and headed out of the dorm. Remus followed her uncertainly.

'Er...'

Brandon, a tall, dark boy with a deep voice and a permanent sweet scent, cleared his throat and nudged the bottle.

'Ooh, Chloe!' Phoebe winked.

Ryan felt his heart beat quicken, his pulse thud in his ears and a blush on his pale cheeks as the bottle landed on...

Peter.

The boy eagerly locked lips with Chloe but was unsure how to continue. He sat stiffly for ten seconds before returning to his seat triumphantly.

Chloe didn't move or say anything.

Anjulie and Skye gave each other an odd look before leaning in and kissing.

'Skanjulie forever!'

'I am _not _a lesbian.'

'We hear that.'

David managed to kiss James, wiping his effortless grin off his face immediately – that certainly wasn't a ship Phoebe had considered before. Javid... Dames?

Jamie cast his grey eyes on Sirius in disgust. No one had noticed the similarities in eye colour before, but now they could be easily differentiated. Jamie's were more steely, a sharp and malicious glint, whereas Sirius' were silvery in the light or deep grey in the dark, ever-changing.

'I refuse to kiss him,' Jamie enunciated loudly.

'You didn't refuse to kiss Ryan!' Phoebe insisted.

'Just because you get a kick out of these things! Pervert!'

'Maybe!' Phoebe pouted, 'I like the JamieXRyan ship, okay?!'

So Jamie's lips were violated once again as he pressed them towards Sirius'.

Phoebe and Anjulie fan-girled delightedly and David shook his head, once again beaming.

'You disgust me!' he laughed.

'Is it because I'm not Asian?'

'Yes! And because you like this kind of real-life yaoi!'

'Yaoi...' Phoebe mumbled, 'Axel and Roxas yaoi?'

From the back of the circle, Abbie squealed.

'AkuRoku forever!'

Only Phoebe wasn't squealing so much when the bottle landed at her feet. She wiggled her pink-tipped socks at it uncomfortably.

'I think it's pointing at Holly,' she mumbled, nudging it with her toes.

'Nice try, but it's pointing at you!' Holly cheered, spinning it with her fingertips. It landed on a smug Sirius.

Phoebe's heart stopped. _This _boy. It had to be him.

Phoebe liked long hair on guys – she _really _liked beautiful eyes and cocky grins, and this guy had it all. He bared his perfect teeth in a grin.

And then he leaned in and kissed her.

It wasn't her first kiss, but it felt like it.

Whatever he did, he did it _right. _

Those smooth, pouty and perfect full lips pressed against her own.

He was perfection.

And then he leaned round her after his ten seconds were up and whispered into her ears:

'_Have you ever been touched by an angel? 'Cause you have now.'_

And that's around when everyone burst into laughter and began rolling on the floor. Even Jamie cracked a smile.

* * *

'Ryan didn't get his kiss then,' Phoebe giggled.

'Should have heard him whining about it,' Sirius agreed, 'doing my head in, the little emo.'

'Hey! I heard that! I'm not an emo!'

'Leave him alone,' Phoebe chucked, 'he's like my brother.'

'Mm...'

Ryan approached the two, prodding his fingers against each other nervously.

'Phoebe, can I talk to you?'

'Sure thing,' Phoebe waved farewell to Sirius and followed Ryan to the boys dorms.

Cerys and Remus were sat inches apart, holding hands.

'My bad!' Phoebe said cheerily, leading Ryan into a corridor. 'So what were you saying?'

'You're really good friends with Chloe, right? So... how do I ask her out?'

Phoebe smiled widely. 'I thought you'd never ask.'

She hugged him and ruffled his hair. 'Just tell her how you feel and there's no way she can say no!'

And with that, she skipped away, leaving Ryan to his thoughts.

**A/N: Sorry for the long wait on this one! I'm a bad person :D But you should all forgive me because you love me. Right? RIGHT?! -FoxOtaku**


	6. Chapter 6

**Disclaimer: We do not own Harry Potter or any of the characters in the Harry Potter book series. We also don't own Club Penguin, the Slug Club or any other characters such as Johnny Depp and Justin Bieber. We write fanfiction to fulfil our fan-girling and because it's a great utilisation of our creativity. Apparently anyway…**

Chapter 6: Conflicting ideas

**A/N: This chapter was written by Megan and extended by moi c;**

Ryan stood in Mr Kwashiorkor's office, sweat clearly visible on his brow as he awaited the Emperor Penguin's arrival. The office appeared normal with a large desk, motivational learning posters and many books that many usual teachers might enjoy... Apart from the picture on his desk which had the caption "My Boys", featuring the entirety of Club Penguin at a Justin Bieber concert. Mr Kwashiorkor hoped to have an audience with Justin to extend an invitation for him to join Club Penguin but he wasn't let past the body guards.

'He's probably too busy being fabulous,' Mr Kwashiorkor giggled, winking at Ryan. The boy just eagerly nodded, concealing the fact that he couldn't listen to a Justin Bieber song without feeling overcome with sickness.

'Anyway, how nice of you to join me,' Mr Kwashiorkor murmured, entwining his fingers.

Ryan gulped down the nerves that had erupted into his stomach as butterflies. 'The pleasure is all mine, Emperor.'

Mr Kwashiorkor took a seat at his desk and cleared his throat before fixing a death glare towards Ryan. 'You have displeased me, Ryan.'

The boy put a mask of innocence onto his face. 'My apologies, Sir, but I don't understand how?'

Mr Kwashiorkor's head was thrown back as a laugh erupted from his throat. 'Ryan, Ryan, Ryan. I thought you knew me well enough to know I wouldn't believe that.' The man's hands which were calmly laid out in front of him were suddenly balled into fists.

'I'm talking about the girl, Ryan! She has led to the failure of your mission. All I asked you to do was research this Sirius boy and you spend it _talking to that measly Chloe girl.'_ He was now standing, all the anger visible on his face.

'Well, Ryan, what do you have to say about that?!'

_What should I say?_ Ryan thought desperately.

'I was merely distracted, Emperor. This girl is nothing to me, I will complete the mission and not let this happen again.' He finished with a sweet smile. None of the words were true, in fact he planned to run to his next lesson where he sat by Chloe and (if he gathered enough courage) ask her out.

Mr Kwashiorkor stood up, mimicked Ryan's sweet smile and walked over so he was in front of the boy before leaning against his desk. He picked up the photo frame up and held it in front of him.

'Oh, Ryan…' He murmured in disappointment before slamming the side of the frame against the boy's head, causing him to collapse onto the floor unconscious. He kneeled down and whispered to the boy while gently stroking his long black locks of hair.

'That was the right answer, my boy. If only you meant every. Single. Word.' He stood and made his way towards his office door. 'As you have failed to deliver Sirius into my hands, I will have to call in reinforcements. Let's hope the Slug Club still remember me,' and with an evil smirk, he closed the door behind him.

As Ryan lay unconscious on Mr Kwashiorkor's office floor, Chloe sat in her Art class alone, and couldn't help but stare at the empty seat beside her. Wherever Ryan was, she hoped he was okay.

* * *

James Potter was lying on his bed in his dorm, thoroughly amused at the sight of Remus sporting a woolly hat with bobbles and Sirius wearing a dress.

Don't take it weirdly, Sirius was never one for cross-dressing until he found a hot pink sequined masterpiece in the _boys' _wardrobe and began flaunting it over his muggle clothes. After digging through a few drawers, he also found the woolly hat and slammed it affectionately on the nearest sane being's head, which happened to be Remus with his nose in a book.

James laughed again at the irritated yet fond look on Moony's face. He was going to compliment the new style before a sharp rapping directing from the window grabbed his attention. A proud tawny owl stood on the window pane, knocking on the glass with its sharp beak.

As James made a pounce to silence the bird, Sirius nose-dived to the door to block any unwelcome visitors while non-muggle action took place.

'Damn!' James moaned.

'What is it, Prongs?' Sirius mumbled from the floor before standing and straightening the creases in his frock.

'A letter from Li- I mean, Evans.'

'You got a letter from Evans?! I thought she hated your guts, mate.'

James _tsk_ed before closing the window behind the owl as it took flight. 'I,' he said, adjusting his glasses, 'am going to read this letter. Au revoir, darlings.'

'But how can we live without you?' Remus murmured, rolling his eyes and flicking to a new page in his book.

Sirius just stared after him before hitching his skirts up so it barely covered his thighs. 'I'm sexy, why are we moping after James? Let's have _fun.'_

* * *

_Dear James,_

_Why am I bothering with all this formal stuff? It's only you anyway._

_Sorry. I don't mean, like, you're not important, it's just_

_Oh, forget it. Anyway, how's the muggle school? Nothing's too different here apart from the fact we can actually concentrate in class and the teachers seem a little depressed. I think they miss you to be honest. _

_Is Sirius flirting with every muggle he can find? Be that boys or girls, I know him well enough. How's Remus and Peter too? Professor Dumbledore's beard has faded to a pale rose colour now, it's fantastic. I heard some second year girls discussing plaiting it, for the life of me I couldn't figure out why. The cheek of them. _

_How are you doing without Quidditch, and Sirius without his enchanted mirror? I do find it funny how he charmed it to tell him "You're fabulous, dahling!" every time he glanced into it, even though it became pretty annoying as he looks in them a lot. All's well here anyway._

_Have fun with the muggles, I hope you come back soon._

_With love,_

_Lily x_

James read it twice before pocketing it with a smile. She'd ended it with a kiss. Life was good.

**A/N: Hope you enjoyed this chapter, it took quite a while since Megan went on holiday, the lucky girl :') **


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